England is Doomed!

Yes, I'm sorry to say, the great footballing (non)nation of England has already rocked out of this summer's World Cup. The great striking duo of scintillating Wayne Rooney and crafty little Michael Owen have both been incapacitated with recent injuries.

Wayne has just recently gone done with a broken foot and Michael is still recovering from one. So what's a (non)nation to do? Not much! Even without the dynamic duo England can probably sneak out of their group in second place, but that's almost certainly going to set up a clash with the host Germans (not quite the same team as past WCs, but still talented-they recently beat our B-C team in Germany 4-1- okay, that ain't saying much).

Even if the heavens open and God himself reaches down to somehow nudge the blessed English past the stolid Huns, they will be up against either the Argentineans or the Dutch (most likely)- can you say TOAST? (Actually, if they get this far Owen will certainly be fully back and Wayne most likely will play-albeit in subpar condition- but they still won't be up to full speed)

Look out world, here come the BLOODY YANKS! When we win the whole kit-and-kaboodle just remember where you heard it first!